Musical Butts

Today’s posting is a little different than those that I have posted in the past, namely because it contains two stories that were related to me by other people. This first is a story that my wife told me last night when I called home during my dinner break, and the other is a story that I heard this past weekend at a 4 year old’s birthday party.

Last night, I got a semi-late dinner break because the ER was busy. When I called home April answered the phone laughing. “I was just about to send you a text message,” she said. “McKenna was sitting at her desk just now and coloring. She’s been really ‘gassy’ today. So, anyway, she was sitting at her desk and tooting up a storm when I finally said, ‘McKenna!!??!!’. She got a sheepish look on her face, and said, ‘Mom, my butt’s making music.’ I couldn’t stop laughing. Any thought of trying to teach her manners went right out the window.”

In related news, here’s a story that our friend “Hannah” (not her real name) told us at her son’s birthday party last Saturday. Apparently Hannah was at work this past Friday when she received a frantic telephone call from her six year old daughter “Lisa” (also not her real name). Lisa was crying and sobbing and carrying on with much drama. Apparently the conversation went like this:

Lisa: “Mommy, I hurt myself!!!!!” (faint sound of Hannah’s husband Bob laughing in the background).

Hannah: “What’s wrong dear? What happened?”

Lisa: “My nose is bleeding!!!!!!!!”

Hannah: “Are you OK? Where’s Daddy?

Lisa: “He’s right here, but he won’t stop laughing at me!!!!!!!” (now a renewed and louder round of Bob laughing in the background is audible)

Hannah: “Lisa, I want you to calm down and tell Mommy what happened.”

Lisa: (stoically trying and failing to choke back the sobs) “Well…..I was in the tub…..sob, sob……and I kept farting…….(more laughter in the background)….and it was making bubbles……..sniff, sniff……but the bubbles were coming out the back end………..and I wanted to see them…..but I couldn’t……sob, sob…..so I was twisting around……sniff, sniff……so I could look at my butt…..[pause here to imagine the visual]…….and when I did…….I slipped and smooshed my nose.”

Hannah: (now trying herself to suppress her own laughter) ”Oh honey, I’m sure you’re fine.”

Lisa: (now hearing her mom’s laughter hangs up in disgust).

Rest assured Lisa was OK. By the next day at the birthday party, the only visible sign of injury was her bruised ego, made worse of course, each time her mother recounted the phone call to her friends, who then in turn began their own rounds of laughter. Poor Lisa.